not being agreeable wif one's self

i dunnoe y..sometimes wen i haf lesson wif Tedd, i realli get frustrated n angry. y?
coz im not performing up to standard. @ home, i can play it much better, den wen i play it in front of tedd, den wen i screw up while playing,i realli get frustrated wif myself, n get very angry wif myself.

sometimes, i juz dunnoe wad in world im doing, y i do e opposite of stuff. den i am not @ peace wif myself...n those kinda sucky emotions juz flood back. den i start to isolate myself. like now. juz wanna cool down. sigh~

sometimes, i juz pray to God n Mother Mary for help. Ever since i've seeked Their spiritual guidance, They've never failed to guide me in every small way. Thank U Both again!

Mayb it's bcoz of my impatience tt's causing all these. yesh..Tedd constantly tells me to lower my tempo for e sonata..tt's wad i shuld do. but sometimes, i dun agree. but on e way back..something struck me.

You've gotta learn to walk first, before You Run.

True isn't it?

being @ peace

hix! im blogging again. din blog for 5 daes. pretty short, compared to peeps who havent blogged in 4 months..heh..aniwae, down to bloggin

todae's kinda mellow, xcept did PW wif my grp members. everything was kinda smooth, though i did forget my darn lines for e role play..this suc..gotta rehearse again.

weekends was spent doing PW again. yesh..ya muz b 1dering..y PW. coz e OP gonna start soon. btw, every other grp oso bz piaing OP. heard from alot of other grps tt dey had to meet up during weekends to do lor. sigh. actually wanted to go out wif my cousin on sundae watch sky cap'n. but well, PW takes precedence over everything right ;)

anywae, these couple of daes been pretty much..peaceful, for me too. "peaceful"..wad does it mean right? hm..being @ ease wif urself. haha..yeah. gotta thank God n Our Mother for aiding me these past couple of months. ALso, another reason to celebrate, coz s12 whole klass being promoted! Yeah..everyone was rejoicing..realli smthg to celebrate lor! anyway, i oso managed to retain e 4 subs. yeah! haha..well..almost everyone got bac their 4 subs. chow, wil n mabel were even offered S paper..now..how's tt for a celebration. aniwae, js and vince had to drop sub, but guys, dun feel dismal bout it. @ least ur promoted, n haf more to concentrate on, so work hard nxt yr.

ya noe...i always had a idea of a klass t-shirt. but aint sure if e klass is fully supportive bout it. wanted to bring it up, but didn't. dunnoe y, come nj..abit hum ji. not as bold as last time. aniwae, gotta pluck up my courage one dae.

was toking to fel* tt nite. apparently, heard tt e O chinese was 8th nov..pretty late huh? furthermore, it was on a mondae. surprise! tot o lvl chinese was always on a fridae..haha..so tt can enjoy weekends. but this yr pretty strange. hmm..seems to me this yr got many farny things changin. oso,had a nice chat wif her tt nite. it's been quite some time since we realli had a kinda..hearty tok. *hey..dun get upset over e chinese results k! continue to focus on ur Os. i've got confidence u can make it one! so haf confidence in urself too! rmb wad i always told ya*

o well..enuff of blogging. gettin tired now. these past couple of daes been havin 6 hrs of slp onli..sian. better get more slp . gd nite folks!=)

ah ha!

o well! here i am blogging again.

Hmm..lemme start off wif Open Day. Seriously, like wad Mrs Cheng said, it was hugh success, which i realli thought it was lor. Couldn't imagine e reception we received @ e Chess n Bridge booth. haha..Chow was playing othello till all his "brain cells were depleted". which was quite true. He was literally playing from 10am to 3pm+...quite a feat if ya asked me.

haha..i was also glad i saw 3 marists. din expect marists to realli come. neway, i heard from Francis(my junior) that another batch had arrived oOo..seems to me e number of marists will definitely increase nxt yr! haha...lookin forward to it. Anyway, after some time, decided to chill out wif YC. haha..we had a nice long tok abt some relationship stuff again. seems to moi both of us r experiencing e same thing, n givin each other advice. But his advice seems better @ times. Francis n his 2 frends later arrived, n i had a nice chat wif em. As a senior,i decided to gif em lotsa useful advice for choosing JC. Seems to me francis's prob heading to VJ..haha..cant stop him right? ;)

OoO yesh..b4 i forget, congrats to Miss Lau for having a new baby! God Bless to ya family, n all e best to her n her new born child. haha...like my survey..couples wanna haf a child for the Love n Joy of having children. Quite true eh? Anyway, heard from Ross tt she gave birth Sundae Nite..oOo..e klass's gonna visit her soon too! She's in KK. heh..pretti convenient for moi.

ANyway, i kinda disliked e discussion of PROMO paper answer these couple of daes. kinda gettin on my nerves lor. haiz..e more i hear e answers, e more..depressed i bcome. o well, one way or another, i'll still hafta face it. heh!

Whole klass was in a very relaxed mood these couple of daes. even e teachers r givin way lor. miss sim let our klass do PW...but she realli looked pissed...so sorry miss sim..mayb ought to apologize..after some tot. luckily, for mr ong's case, it was diff. haha..we bugged him not to haf tut..den he decided to forego it n tok abt some phy stuff..which of coz bored lotsa pple..haha..but actually, i was listening. Quite interesting. He also mentioned abt e stuff we're gonna learn nxt yr. ooo...lotsa stuff to cover. Lecture theatres were also darn empty...guess e post exam fever has kinda gotten into everyone's head. haha..im no exception.

'cept im workin hard on my piano tt is. yeah..seems to me time is not on my side..onli a few more months...well..time was nvr realli on any one's side, it's juz a matter or making n utilizing it to e fullest extent.

hmm..tt's all folks. these few daes were kinda mellow. heh!~

An Opened Mind

Yesh...todae's post will b bout an Opened Mind

So ya muz b 1dering...y?
was tokin to yc abt some relationship stuff, n it dawned upon me...that if ya wanna b a Happy person, a person who doesn't let his negative emotions get the better outta him/her, den the key to doing so is having an Opened Mind.

Read bout this story about a monkey and the coconut.

There was a monkey, which got very hungry. It went looking around for some food to eat, and to its surprise, found a coconut. More fortunately, there was already a hole on the coconut, so it definitely gave the monkey a much easier time to drink the water, n probably eat the flesh. Without hesitation, it's hunger overcame it, and it immediately placed its small hands into the coconut to scrap out some flesh. However, when it tried to take its hand out, it couldn't! It tried furiously to release its hand,but to no avail.
Why?
Coz it panicked! When it panicked, it clenched its fist. It was so hungry, that it desperately tried to get e flesh. n so , it's fist was clenched. After some time, e monkey got tired. It got more relaxed n started to tink of an alternative solution. It relaxed its hand, n slowly removed its hand. To its surprise, it managed to do so! The monkey got so happy, it decided not to eat the coconut.
So what's e moral of the story?
We shouldn't hold on to things so tightly. Sometimes in life, it's better to let go. Better to leave the past behind, n look @ the present, look forward towards the future. If we hang on to things so much, we might not get what we want, or worse, we may inflict emotional and/or physical harm on ourselves. Other than the monkey example, we can have real life examples, like those of relationships. Sometimes, it's much better to move on!

Aniwae, back to sch these couple of daes. b4 i start, i would like ta apologize to my PW members for makin em worried over e darn WR. so sorry again.
Kinda lazee to describe e OCS trip on wed. but well, it was a refreshing and new experience. Propaganda in some sense, but it bascially shows e lifestyle for those officer cadets dere.
Anyway, thurs was a bore. so yep, juz skip it
Ah..fridae...mediocre. Din attend morning assembly. Realized it was kinda waste of time, so decided to chill out in klass. decided to skip chem lecture. after which, a couple of guys den joined me in slacking too. haha..nthg better to do, so after an hour, headed down to maths. realli lucky lor! coz miss ling said those who skipped lecture, names handed to Sharon Phua! phoo!Anywae, oso got bac phy mcq. sux big time..so aint gonna sae it here...sigh. After sch, had to rush home to get e cash for e sch mag n fotoz...yup..wad a rush. i tink im realli tyco lor..wen i went bac home, my mom was on e way back too, so she gave me a lift. What was more astonishing was wen i left my home to go to sch again, i realized i had FORGOTTEN to bring my keys! woah! juz imagine, if she wasn't on e way back, i would have camped outside the house man!
Didn't help out in cleaning e class room. sorry peeps! yeah..but did help out in open dae preps. Got kinda annoyed was wasting time waiting for e section leaders n e rest to come back, so headed back home.

Wasn't realli in e mood to prac my piano, so juz wasted e time. yeah...boring. Sometimes, i realized juz lazing around helps ya relax. strange..but true

Anyway, would like to thank YC for all e advice he's given man! n also to all those who helped me one way or another this week.

- [F]orget [O]ther [C]ommitments [U]ntil [S]uccess -

2 realli free n ez daes

yep peeps! 11th n 12th of Oct was realli 2 free n ez daes for peeps in NJC. Seems to be games fest for my class had turned out to a PON fest for almost everyone. But it's okie..haha..i kinda wanted to pon lor! but wif all those classmates of mine carrying "parangs", hmm..i'd better not. *haha..if ya get wad i meant*.

11th Oct
Woke up feeling extremely...bored. din realli wanna go to sch, but had to come for some Leadership course. Refreshing experience. Din learn quite some stuff! especially the connection n character thingie ;) Den went over to KAP to haf lunch wif s12. sux initially, coz i dropped my tray of food..sigh. but neway, luckily, onli the burger was fine, i had to redeem e rest. very embarassing..but wth..haf to fill stomach! tt's e most impt. I was contemplating whether to go for the English games thingie lor..in e end, decided to go,although the opportunity cost was prac my piano. yes..kinda regretted in some sense..coz e games were realli quite...pointless. i oso heard on tis dae tt Shaun had signed me in for Speed Climbing lor! i was like, "har!" coz i din realli wanna come for games fest..*haha..yeah..join the pon fest* , but wth lor,after some time, decided,to juz go

12th Oct
Todae, woke up , feeling..strange. anyway, i shant describe the feeling. woke up n prac my piano till 8.15am*of coz, i did haf my breakfast*. went to look for my rock climbing shoes, but culdn't find em...sarks. those shoes were ex man..but aniwae, headed down to sch. haha...a good way to skip assembly lor. upon arriving in sch, had a warm welcome from my canoeing buddies daryl n rachael. heh! been quite some time since i had a chat wif em, but aniwae, had a short chat wif daryl. Rachael was bz on the fone, after which , i headed down to e rock wall to find shaun, but din find him. so aniwae, headed down to e hall, in which i saw my klass. n of coz, i got a realli "warm" reception. phoo! tot dey were gonna hack me away lor. lol =p. anyway, i rushed over to find shaun to climb, n found him over @ e bball courts.
Planning e climbing route was kinda ez..many big tiles to grab. When i heard e current record was 41 secs, i was laughing my head off lor. but of coz, tt didn't mean i could beat it immediately lor. aniwae, i planned my route well, n juz climbed. during e climb, it all juz came to me naturally, din realli tink much. finelly, whacked n touched e last time. asked for timing....24 secs! i was amazed wif myself! this is e 2nd time i speed climbed in my life. i was always a difficulty climber, so i tot i was gonna suc @ this, but i was damn surprised man. truely a breathtaking experience! Also, i was happy for Solaris coz we oso won e Speed Climbing comp! yeah!=)Finally, i felt as though i had realli contributed something in such a long time!

Was still deciding whether to pon e arts performance in e afternoon, on 2nd tots, didn't. din regret after tt! =) E introduction on ballet was quite interesting. can c it's a very tuff form of art. n those dancers sure haf very strong legs n a darn sleak figure, esp e women. Kinda expected.
It's very true, if u go into the highest form of a certain art, it realli gets very very difficult. Take piano for example. It realli is a tuff instrument to master, n to learn too. n it's a nvr ending learning experience too,pickin up lotsa stuff.
But once u master tt highest form, it realli becomes a very spiritual journey for e person. I noe it may seem profound,but it's kinda true

O well, enuff of bl0gging! getting kinda draggy! haha!

Finally! Time to rejoice

finally..it's 8 Oct! a day which i can realli rest! y? coz e exams r finally over! yeah...has been kinda tuff on me this couple weeks. ..mugging like mad. had to neglect my piano too! sigh`

Anyway, overall, i tink tis exam's kinda fine...XCEPT FOR E CHEM PAPER! tt was montrous lor! i tink it's kinda worse den me learning e B minor Sonata by Liszt(juz wen i tot tt was tuff!).Initially, i tot e 1st few qns were tuff, so i gave away 3, 5 marks..gradually, this added up....nxt thing i knew, i had MANY blank pages in e paper..-sigh-. dunnoe y tio until so tuff!
Phy was quite okie. Quite simple...xcept im afriad tt i may end up makin stupid mistakes..which i've already i/d in some of my questions(bohoo!!). Maths was okie lor..not much emotions abt it. Hm...econs ah...haha..dare not sae anything abt it lor! haha....juz like maths..it's "okie". haha..as long i dun screw it up can liaoz...although....i may haf..to a certain extent =p Overall, i tink it SHULD b okie lor..*crosses fingers*

juz came bac after lunching wif my klass..Seoul Garden. havent been dere for ages lor. anyway, food was fine. e fish was not bad..surprisingly. anyway, i was surprised to find out tt there was no eggs @ all lor. haha..guess itz bcoz of e bird flu scare eh! Strangely, very few pple came. Councillors were bac in sch clearing up e Student Lounge. Meanwhile, my good buddy Chow went to play badminton wif his frends @ clementi..haha..so far, so decided not to follow him. Actually, kinda wanted to go out wif Hengyi , budden klass more impt.haha..no la..muz fill stomach. his klass was like my klass lor..standing in e hall, comtemplating of where to go! aiyah..s12 everytime liddat! can b abit nerving..but well, got kinda used to it liao.

Anywae, after had lunch, went to kino to read books. haha..interestingly, almost everyone started going to e astro part to read abt their star signs. i havent been dere in ages lor. anyway, things more or less hasn't changed, xcept location of e books has shifted. haha..all e crappy stuff n farny stuff we discussed abt e astrology was indeed refreshing n a "good way to destress*(as stated by Crystal..lol). But sometimes, quite true lor. Though i did linger around for too long, coz i wanted to go home prac piano..yeah..soo....weird hor. anyway, wen it came to 3.30, decided to make a move..got kinda boring. din wait for e councillors to come.

Bought CoD:expansion a few days ago. I find e darn multiplayer function darn unstable sia! wassup wif my comp..*or izzit e game*. But overall, it's a damn fine game man! Truely depicts real war like snenarios. In e ending credits, e producers mentioned abt "not forgetting e men and women who have lost their lives to preserve the freedom of their countries and for peace". That is a very inspiration line, n I will also nvr forget those too! Not tt im trying to b nostalgic..but it's true! wadeva we're enjoying cant b taken for granted. Peace is a very fragile thing.

Tok abt being nostalgic, dunnoe y my best frends starting to bcome so nostalgic! Eric n YC mentioned abt e times we used to spend together. haha..yeah..those were e times..truely unforgettable! haha..mayb im unemotional..but true..sometimes, this kinda nostalgia does flood back into my mind! But life has to go on..right? ;)

Anyway, enuff of blogging! haf GOTTA find out WAD's WRONG wif my multiplayer function..strange..hm.. Oso gotta find a day to go out wif her...been quite some time. e last time wanted, but smthg happened..aiyah..wt heck lor. yc oso! tt guy wanna play pool n meet up..darn..nxt week? haha..okie can la...sarks..later results come back.aiyah..dun tok abt tt!Well, YC, n Eric, u both take care broz! n Peeps, enjoy ya freedom! haha! Ardios!
^_^

A new month, a new blog

Finally, a new blog. Been quite some time since i had one..had one in e past, but didn't wanna continue wivit, coz it sucked. Well, at least this looks better den e previous one. haha..though this one's still in construction

Anyway, nothing exciting bout todae, other den e fact tt i had e Phy SPA. Din realli feel nething abt it..wasn't too tuff nor ez. *so wadcha write for oscillation?* =p
Had to rush off to e toilet after SPA, so decided to head down to e TC block's toilet(coz its BIG n comfy, n no one uses it).

Next thing i knew, after i finished my "business", i started hearing the fumigation sounds...den i realized dey were fumigating e whole darn block!!!! White mists started flowing in like mad. n i had a feeling even e person who was fumigating e block came into the toilet too. When i walked outta e cubicle..it was so misty! couldn't even see a THING. I tot i was in Heaven or smthg liddat. Den e smell kicked in...n it wasn't pleasant. Luckily, e mist wasn't tt harmful..din feel any stingin sensation...but it was kinda scary

When i opened e door of e toilet, white fumes juz swooped in. i could LITERALLY see the fumes flowing in SOOO quickly..e outside was a total whiteness..tt's where i kinda freaked out..coz i couldn't even navigate around. So i juz had to stay in e toilet for some time...n tt's where i felt kinda nausea....i imagined...something was gonna happen

o Well..@ least my patience did help. I had to call Shaun to tell me how was things outside, but even he did not dare to come near. It was soooooo misty..u couldn't even see a thing. well..since i din wanna drag him in, i walked out. This time..it aint tt bad, could see e outline of e ground, n i made a dash for e opening...finally, could see e mist clear...n i was back!
Alive! BREATHING fresh air! haha..nah..juz being weird. but wad an experience it was.

I realized how being calm n patient can realli pay off!

However, that immediately turned into anxiety. I looked @ my watch..n it was 9.45am...15 more mins b4 my church procession started! had to rush, so took a cab...but had to rip off $4++..=(

Rushed home to prac my piano..woo..been quite some time since i played it..bz studying for e exams. So boring. i realli miss playin e piano lor. Tedd's been telling me to prac freq, n im desperately trying to balance out...*seems impossible*.

RJ chem's so demoralizing k! wen i did their past yr PROMOS paper..i realli got frustrated...i mean..how often do ya get frustrated..aiyah..dun tok abt it..tues chem n econs..how to survive..i ask myself tt qn.

O well...better to stay calm n continue revision. Like wad Chee wah has said..Worrying doesn't help! True! Better to continue studying, den juz stop to study! So for all ya peeps outdere who's worring, juz 4get abt it! Just do it! =)

WelcOmE!

Finally..a new blog! yeah..during tis time of e yr..quite inappropriate. Anywae, do lemme do some customizations first. aint tt ready yet!